-
https://d1y502jg6fpugt.cloudfront.net/25778/archive/files/c847f097c965e73b174c685def9fd165.pdf?Expires=1712793600&Signature=o9qSQfQg%7Ecxf9T%7Eqh2sZ2S2nVYleeL1%7Ezme0vnIDm8cC7T-CImz1fy4u84--XN3CNBqpM7kUn0WMSaoVxF9yl4oM2piA8zxpAVHDzldkcGbaPiZRtXWf9I6dxAs4Jyxk1VuOJpLh52sy9BdLYrUF8wqSixFZkbROnCWbfJNlj0o0QLGnLJoow5PEYrYQOcvgmHv8AR4x97rNuEJd144yO5KEflKkffB9aN5rV5yaN7l5Wm1fwqmvUc3AhaMa6DEQ1B3YLBuMqv90FfbE1CZ6XrwQHYqQBv4oaYbS6xjm-FduNkQmILS34n1SPRMPiLIqhx9i2HigVYb9N1JzvzGzmg__&Key-Pair-Id=K6UGZS9ZTDSZM
2e0339d5714ee113d77c32e0ef3401d0
PDF Text
Text
'
- Gi <3|
TRANSMISSION;
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
THROUGH
THE MOTHER.
BY
GEORGIANA B. KIRBY.
NEW EDITION,
Revised and Enlarged.
G
NEW YORK:
S. R. WELLS & COMPANY, PUBLISHERS,
737
BROAD WAY.
1879.
�COPYRIGHT, 1877, BY
S. R. WELLS & COMPANY.
�INTRODUCTION.
In the following pages it is my wish to impress on
women the grave truth, than which none can have more
importance, that with them, with the mother, rests the
greater power to mould for good or ill, for power or
weakness, for beauty or deformity, the characters of
her unborn children, and that with power comes the
responsibility for its use.
Laying down a few self-evident propositions I shall
illustrate the same by facts which have come under my
own immediate notice during a period of nearly forty
years, simply changing in each case the names of per
sons and locality.
The subject is by no means a new or original one.
The principles involved are found scattered throughout
all the journals which embody modern thought, and
even find their way, accompanied by much contradic
tion, into our lighter literature. Yet it is certainly not
universally understood that on the mother’s state of
mind and body during pregnancy depend such vital in
�6
INTRODUCTION.
terests. The shadow thrown on the subject by false'
modesty keeps the masses in ignorance and arrests the
upward progress of the race.
The mother’s office was, and is yet, by the majority held
to be a secondary one and comparatively unimportant.
“ She merely nourishes the germ given by the father ”
is the common supposition. What singular infatuation
is this when anatomy shows that the ova or eggs exist
in the mother, and that the material supplied by the
father vivifies them!
In ancient, as well as modern, times it was admitted
that during the period of gestation the mother was
keenly sensitive to hideous impressions, and was
through this equal to the production of deformity and
monstrosity. It seems strange that the converse of this
did not suggest itself, so that her sensibility could have
been tested for the creation of beauty and symmetry.
It was also seen that the pregnant woman could affect
the temper, the disposition of her child by yielding to
angry emotions, but she was not credited with the
ability to convey a serenity and sweetness of nature
suipassing her own.
Through all the dark ages that have preceded us,
woman has known herself a slave with less questioning
as to the rightfulness of the position awarded her by man
than she is sensible of to-day. This was the inevitable
order of development for primitive man. That the
�INTRODUCTION.
7
' unjust domination continues is but another proof of
how unwillingly usurped power is relinquished.
The slave woman respects her master, not herself.
The children she has borne have been the children of
their father, not of their mother. Darwin declares
that “ qualities induced by circumstances inhere in that
sex on which the circumstances operated,” passing by
the opposite sex born of the same mothers. Thus
women have given birth to independent sons and sub
servient daughters.
In civilized lands it is now almost universally ad
mitted that conditions produce a race. The included
truth that conditions, governed by invariable law, pro
duce each individual of that race is scarcely recognized
by the most enlightened, so deeply seated in the minds
of men is the belief in woman’s inferiority and unim
portance in the realm of causes.
“Mv children will represent me,” is the unexpressed
thought of nearly every father until the baseless as
sumption is slowly dispelled by the irresponsible medi
ocre children before him. Men, and women too, are
astonished and perplexed when the superficial, but pleas
ing young wife of the man of genius proves the mother
of dull boys and girls without possibilities. Still more
incomprehensible to them is the mysterious Providence
which has awarded the vicious or deficient child to the
S excellent and sensible couple, and presented the lazy
�8
INTRODUCTION.
and disorderly one with, a delicate saint, or an inventor.
When the education, the training, had been exactly
alike for all the children, why did the second or the sixth
o’ertop the others in talent, high ambition, nobler
presence ? If the exceptional child were dull, the mother
was held measurably responsible; if it were brilliant
and beautiful, the qualities were traced back to some
great-grandfather or grand-aunt of the father’s.
At length, -if almost unwillingly, we have found the
right track. In the early part of this century it began
slowly to dawn on the minds of the most enlightened
men that women were in a truer sense the mothers of
the race than had been previously supposed, and
through the influence of these pioneers in the world of
ideas, woman begins to realize her great maternal
power. With this knowledge, and the higher educa
tion now offered her in the schools, her character will
broaden, her thoughts enlarge. Subserviency, personal
gossip, and paltry rivalries will no more belong to her
than to her brother. Courage and sincerity will belong
to both, equally with purity and gentleness may we
hope.
�TRANSMISSION;
OR,
Variation of Character Through the Mother.
All nature, including human nature, is governed by
immutable law.
All variation of character, physical and mental, takes
place in foetal life.
To the sensitiveness conferred by nature on the
child-bearing woman is due her superior capacity to
improve or degrade the race. To her varied mental,
emotional, and physical conditions during her periods of
gestation are due the widely different characters of the
children born of the same parents.
Every quality, or its absence, in man or woman is
there, or is wanting, by reason of conditions afforded
or withheld for its incarnation through the parents.
The compass and tone of each individual is abso
lutely decided before birth.
�10
VARIATION 01' CHARACTER
The faculties actively used by the mother during
pregnancy, rather than those lying latent and part of her
original character, will be found prominent in her off
spring.
Other things being equal, the children of youthful,
immature parents will be inferior to those of the fully
developed.
A marriage may, in itself, be perfect in every re
spect, yet owing to violation of natural or spiritual
law by the parents, the offspring may be inferior to
either or both.
A marriage may be very imperfect, and the parties
to it very imperfect characters, yet, through the influ
ence of happily elevating conditions surrounding and,
as it were, pressing in on the mother, the children will
be superior to both parents.
Education may modify, but never overrule inherited
defects.
�CONCEPTION.
Very much depends on the moment of union which
precedes conception. Never run the risk of conception
when you are sick or over-tired or unhappy; or when
your husband is sick, or recovering from sickness, ex
hausted, or depressed, or when you are not in full sym
pathy with him, or when the children already yours
claim for their welfare your entire strength and time.
For the bodily condition of the child, its vigor and
magnetic qualities, are much affected by the conditions
ruling this great moment. Independent of the mutual,
spiritual estate, the material supplied by the father for
the vitalizing of the ovum, represents his then state of
being, and will continue to represent it in the life it has
helped to organize. If, therefore, this communicated
principle be wanting in vitality or diseased, physical
perfection in the child is not to be expected. This
finest secretion of the man’s whole being-—this subtle
�12
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
essence of his nature, which is both spiritual and phys
ical—should express his best possible condition. After
this he can only affect the child indirectly through his
influence on the mother’s mind.
The more highly-organized the mother, the more
child-bearing exhausts her, because she is drained of
her intellectual and spiritual forces. She, therefore,
requires longer periods of rest and recuperation than
the healthy, animal woman who can bear a child eveiy
two years for many succeeding years, and retain health
and vigor.
Many of the most lovely, most charming, and alto
gether admirable women, become the inmates of insane
asylums from having maternity thrust on them at too
near periods of time.
For a child to be well born, his parents should be
happily mated and in good health; the coming together
should be mutual, and with a willingness, if not a desire,
for parentage. Quite infrequent relations, if any, should
take place up to the fourth month. This should, of
course, be left entirely to the wife’s decision—to her
feeling of what is right and best for leer. I have
known wives very desirous of having children, who, on
finding themselves pregnant, could not help turning
with glad affection to the father of the child. Nothing
is as yet proved on this head, and there is no telling
what magnetisms may or may not be furnished the
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
13
embryo at this early stage. Nature in the woman re
fuses to entertain the thought of sexual commerce
after the fourth month.
SLEEPING.
There are many reasons which make it most unadvis
able for husband and wife to occupy the same bed, and
growing physiological knowledge will sooner or later
effect a change in this, as in many other of our habits.
In the first place, it is not desirable in this way to
equalize the magnetism of the two parties. Part of
the mutual attraction is thus lost. Then sleep is not
so wholly undisturbed and refreshing as when one is
quite alone. But most important of all, the mere fact
of contact often arouses the animal when the will and
judgment are asleep, and a base union takes place, which
is followed by regret, shame, and bodily weakness.
X late writer on marriage, parentage, and kindred
subjects takes the ground that the sexual attraction
exists solely for the production of offspring. He gives
the impression that, unless the minds of the parties con
cerned are filled with the desire for parentage, the phys
ical union is wholly sensual and unjustifiable. Here the
experience of the very best men and women who should
certainly give us a standard, if one is possible, goes
contrary to this view, and certainly we ought not to
discard this testimony for that of the unspiritual ani
�— /
14
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
mal world, especially when this varies from the human
in being polygamous, and each season choosing another
mate; neither can it be supposed that the animal of in
tuition creates offspring.
Then again, unless denied children, a man never has
a thought of parentage in that all-absorbing moment.
It is his wife—the woman he adores, to whom he is
drawn as by an invisible magnet, and children originat
ing in this tender and impassioned embrace will be thus
far magnetic and well-born children. A desire for par
entage is as good as the love of woman, no doubt; but
since it is in the order of nature for a man to be con
cerned for the woman alone, should we interfere ?
With regard to the best hour in the twenty-four for
originating a new life, I differ from most authors. Love
is most private and interior, shunning vulgar observa
tion and the glaring light, therefore the quiet hours of
early morning best befit the expression of it.
Not many hundred years will-elapse before the earth
will be sufficiently populated. Then large families of
children will be a curse instead of a blessing, and par
ents will be obliged to limit their powers of reproduc
tion to two children only. Will they then reduce the
exercise of the amative faculty to two occasions ? We
have yet much to discover on this head.
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
15
AMATIVENESS.
Since in the minds of many good and otherwise in
telligent women much confusion exists respecting the
actual marriage or “ sexual union,” it is desirable that
we make some remarks on thjit organ of the brain on
which rests conjugal love—namely, Amativeness.
No other single organ of the brain has so command
ing an influence on the whole nature as this much-slan
dered faculty. The very word itself is held attaint.
Yet it is this power, in woman as well as man, that
gives beauty and symmetry to form and feature, grace
and sweetness to manners and voice, and sympathy and
charity to the soul. All the heroism that has redeemed
the past from utter and disgusting barbarism, has sprung
out of the love of man for woman; not the Friendship,
but the Love, whose completest expression—that which
most softened and refined the man, strengthened and
sustained the woman—was the perfect union of soul and
body demanded by itself. And spite of its gross and
cruel record, amativeness is to-day, as it always has
been, the principal guarantee for the higher develop
ment of humanity. Without it genius is impossible,
capacity for large enjoyments, attractiveness, a segment
of the circle is wanting, making all the rest incomplete
and defective.
Because of the hitherto undue activity of this organ
•
�16
variation of character
and its apparent fickleness, many philosophers have
given friendship a higher place than love in the econ
omy of human life. But let us extinguish this passion
in the heart, leaving friendship to its widest experience,
and we should soon sink down to the level of the Chi
nese, whose brutal contempt for woman expressed in
every fable and proverb, and illustrated in the national
countenance, precludes to them all advancement.
Man appears to have been superendowed with ama
tiveness since first he stood erect. Inferior intellect
and strong passions characterized the primitive man.
And as the head of the modern man still awaits the
arch, he continues to be intemperate on this side of his
nature, and to dominate woman in such degree as suits
his pleasure. Over-indulgence is followed by a sense of
shame, of disgust; and as this habit of excess was and
is universal, man has learned to separate this passion
from what he calls his higher nature, and brand it as
degrading, sensual, shameful. The helpless, the willing
subjection of woman in marriage has served to lower
yet more the character of the relation.
The Church has taught that marriage is a sensual
estate, including one major-general and one private.
A profound contempt for nature is inherited with the
blood, and is confirmed in us by experience.
Now, science and philosophy prove that sin, evil,
wickedness, mean merely a want of balance among
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
17
faculties in themselves good. How weak is a man
without sufficient firmness, yet how unamenable is he
who possesses too large a share. How valuable is ac
quisitiveness with conscience and the reasoning powers
fully developed. Without the latter, acquisitiveness
purloins cash and jewelry.
Excess of amativeness—the faculty most blindly
abused hitherto—has worked most cruel wrong. Goaded
by stimulants it has murdered its willing slave, sought
satisfaction in promiscuous relations which destroy con
jugal love, changing it to lust,—levied tax on the other
organs of the brain, dragging them with itself to a
shameful death.
The difference between Love and Lust is the differ
ence between heaven and hell. Love seeks only the
happiness of the being loved, and is as refined in its
most private as in its public demeanor. Lust cares only
for selfish, animal gratification, without regard to the
slave who gives enforced consent.
That an act absolutely necessary to the continuance
of the race, animal, human, and vegetable, and the
principle of which governs even the mineral world,
should be in itself, and under right conditions, consid
ered coarse, is but evidence of our own ignorance.
We reason a priori that when the entire being consents,
the spiritual as well as the affectional, the act of union
is as pure in its character as the blossoming of the lily
�18
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
or the rose. The pure, unselfish love of a nohle man,
when carried to its ultimate with a happily responsive
wife, should be as free from shame as the opening
violet. Emotion is as divine as thought. Could it be
necessary, or even possible, for a merely sensual act to
originate a being like Margaret Fuller, or Hawthorne,
or the author of Shakespeare’s plays ? He who replies
in the affirmative is unbalanced and unnatural.
To common observation the more reverent and
kindly demeanor of the lad as he approaches puberty
demonstrates the refining, ameliorating nature of con
jugal love.
The radiant countenance of the modest wife, the
harmonious faces of the chaste and loving pair, justify
their lives.
Marriage is a partnership for the higher development
of each party, and the continuance of the race.
Under the past regime the highly organized and
more individualized American woman has had her
capacity for conjugal emotion almost annihilated. And
this constantly repeats itself in her children as the
abused mother transmits to her son the abnormal pas
sions of his father, and to her daughter her own feeble,
outraged conjugal capacity.
This state of things will continue as long as women
grow up ignorant of the laws of their own being; as
long as mothers bring up their sons and daughters in
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
19
absolute ignorance of what is right and wrong in
marriage—the mother thinking she is modest and re
fined when she blushes before the honest facts of nat
ure.
What father instructs his son before marriage as to
his behavior under that most sacred bond? What
mother advises with her daughter, assuring her that she
is to be the judge and regulator in her private life with
her husband ? Too often the health of both is im
paired, and the mutual attraction destroyed, because
knowledge came too late. Instead of this, the young wife should be proud to say, “ My mother taught me
that this relation should take place very seldom. We
shall be less happy if we are intemperate.” The man
who married her because he loved and admired her,
would willingly be guided by her to a true continence.
As it is, she evades the responsibility, and abandons
soul and body to the undisciplined will of one as ig
norant of law as herself. Here, as elsewhere, men, and
women too, persuade themselves that subserviency in
woman is lovely as in a man it is contemptible.
DESIRES AND FANCIES.
A superstition is common among the ignorant that
every whim, every craving of the pregnant woman
should be gratified, or the child will be “marked.” I
once heard of a woman who, shortly before her con
�20
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
finement, insisted on having a pint of whisky, and be
cause it was thought best to give her only half a pint,
the child was never satisfied and drank himself to
de#th.
It is true that the very great change in the system,
the forces now specially drawn to the womb which be
fore were equally distributed throughout the body,
leaves the stomach often in a very delicate condition,
needing more acid or less, more flesh and less vegetable
diet, or the reverse, as the case may be, and there
should certainly be no pains spared in providing the
mother with the food that she can relish and digest, or
in her yielding to her innocent and harmless fancies.
The first months are often wearisome and depressing.
She feels restless and unsettled, and should be treated
with patient sympathy even if she seems a little un
reasonable.
But the patient should never resign her own judg
ment and conscience. Gross feeding, excess of meats,
gravies, pastry, wine, etc., should be avoided if desired.
Over-eating is nearly as bad as over-drinking, and a
sense of repletion after meals should be a warning that
the intemperance must not be repeated. It is very
plain that if the pregnant woman used her will in de
nying herself that which she knew to be unwholesome,
oi’ in excess of sufficient, the child would be more
likely to inherit self-control. The true mother will
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
21
have constant reference to the well-being of the child
she is bearing, and she will have ample reward.
BIRTH-MARKS.
Birth-marks, whether unimportant in character, or
amounting to deformity, are to be referred not so much
to the first impression made on the mother’s mind, as
to her subsequent and frequent reproduction of the
image. The unfurnished mind of the illiterate woman
seizes on and retains the ugly or grotesque picture,
which another rich in thought and experience would
have dismissed at once. Thus we see club-feet, stra
bismus, and other physical defects almost confined to
the lower orders of the people.
Be this as it may, the mother should turn away on
principle from the unpleasant object or circumstance,
and occupy herself by an exercise of her will with
something agreeable. If she acts thus, all will be safe.
DEFICIENT CHILDREN.
The union of young persons, affectionate, but unin
tellectual and ignorant of law, is followed, not unfrequently, by more or less deficiency in the first child.
No restraint is put on the passions, as it is believed that
after the legal ceremony has taken place any amount
of indulgence is permissible.
More cases of deficiency are found in the families of
�22
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
the rich, and of the brutalized and ignorant poor, than
in households whose moderate circumstances necessarily
force some domestic duties on the wife. The simplest,
household labors involve the exercise of calculation,
perception, order, and judgment, not to mention the
good to the body of the exercise of many sets of mus
cles. Consider, then, the loss to the unborn where
wealth has secured abundant service and the pregnant
condition is made an excuse for indolence and over-in
dulgence !
If the young couple have planned their life wisely ;
if they are hospitably inclined, it may be musical and
social at once, and the wife especially take some kindly
interest in the welfare of those less favored than them
selves, all will be safe so far as the intellect is concerned;
and if the delicate consideration and courtesy felt and
shown before marriage by each to the other continue
after the union is consummated, a happy temperament,
a pleasing natural manner may be expected for the
child.
But if these conditions do not exist, the first child
will be greatly inferior to those that follow it, since the
most indolent and selfish mother will expend some
thought on her own little one after its arrival.
Habits of intoxication in either parent result in off
spring who prove to be non compos mentis, if not
�THROUGH THE' MOTHER.
23
drivelling idiots. Ko wife should cohabit with an in
ebriate. The greatest sin that can be committed is to
create a child who must of necessity be a degraded or
helpless creature. Even if he escape these worst con-x
sequences, he will be of quite inferior organization to
those born of temperance.
•.
It would be well if the unmarried would visit asy
lums where idiots and inebriates bear testimony to
their ante-natal conditions.
OVER-EXERTION.
Over-exertion during pregnancy is almost as hurtful
as indolence, depriving the unborn of those vital forces
necessary to a well-constituted existence.
In no country called civilized does the pregnant
woman overtax her strength as she does in these Uni
ted States. This fact is quite sufficient to account for
the very general want of robustness, vigor, and firm
health, especially among our women. I refer here
principally to our farmers’ and mechanics’ wives.
The farmer’s brood mare is carefully considered.
She is exercised gently lest her progeny suffer deterio
ration. But the farmer’s wife, the mother of his prog
eny, who are to do him honor by their virtues, or cast
reproach upon him by their mediocrity or vices, is over
worked every day of each of the nine months of each
period that is to decide his case.
�24
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
When the mare has performed the labor that is good
for her, she is turned into the sunny pasture for the
rest of the day. But there is no considerate arrange
ment for the wife’s walking in green meadows to drink
in the beauties of nature, and absorb the invigorating
sunlight when she has had as much exercise as is good
for her. She cooks and scours, washes and irons, makes
and mends, churns, quilts, makes preserves, pickels, rag
mats, washes dishes three times a day, saves and con
trives (than which nothing is so wearing
o
*n
the mind),
attends the meetings of her religious society, helping at
their fairs and socials; it is probable she takes a boarder
or two in the summer, keeps up a limited correspondence
with her family, and goes to bed every night so exhausted
of her forces, that sleep has to be waited for, rising
unrested to begin over again the dreary daily routine.
You say she has wonderful energy and ability. But
why does she not give her children the benefit of her
ambition and faculty? She put all the vitality, all
the magnetism that belonged to her little daughter, into
the kettles and pans, into the soap and butter. The
butter may sell well in the market, but it will not atone
for the absence of resource in her child.
Her boys are slow to apprehend, and will never
- aspire beyond the three K’s. They lounge instead of
sitting, and walk without dignity.
The girls lack stamina, and have not their mother’s
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
25
ambition to “ put the work through.” Poor things! They
do not know that they were bom tired, or they would
offer that as an excuse. They are lacking in the mag
netism that attracts, in the hopefulness and health that
makes every day a satisfaction.
If the husband, on his farm, or in his factory, or
store, has extra or increasing work, he forthwith hires
more help; but as child after child add to the responsi
bilities and labors of the home, the mother struggles on
unassisted, until at last she becomes a hopeless invalid,
or sinks at middle age under her burdens, leaving her
husband with his accumulated means to marry a younger .
woman, who sits in the parlor, hires plenty of servants-—
now considered quite necessary—and has a good time
generally, on the savings of her predecessor.
It is the conscientious, self-sacrificing woman who.
thus wears her life out so unnecessarily. She thinks it
her duty. Her husband’s labor has profits attending
it—hers, none. Most fatal mistake! Her maternal
office was her first and highest. If she filled that well,
she did a more important and profitable work than any
that could fall to her husband. And it is plain enough
that when such domestic services as hers have to be,
Twredy they have a very decided money value.
As an illustration of the dangers of over-work, I will
*
* This, and other illustrations, are authentic names of
persons and places simply changed.
�26
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
cite the case of a boy bora of well-to-do parents in-----County, Kentucky. There were several children older
and one younger than the lad in question. This young
est boy had a brain of the very best calibre. Talent,
latent energy, and determination were written in every
line of the child’s face. ££ He has the will of a Napo
leon,” said his father, and this was true.
The brother of whom I would speak was live years
the senior of master Jefferson, a boy with a very large
head, lack-lustre eyes, and a mixture of amiability and
apathy in his air and manner. He relished neither
work, or study, or play. I boarded in the family, and
had ample opportunity for exact observation of the
very different characters composing it. The parents
were unusually rugged and hearty, and the children,
with this one exception, took after them.
When, by careful steps, I led the mother back to
the summer preceding dull Charley’s birth, she was
able to recall quite vividly the circumstances that had
surrounded her, and the kind of life she led.
££ Had she,” I asked, ££ been unhappy ? ”
££ Oh, dear no; she had had nothing to be unhappy
about.”
“Was she sick during any part of her pregnancy?
Had she felt her condition a greater tax on her powers
than was usual with her ? ”
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
27
“No; on the contrary, she had been filled with
ambition.”
Her husband’s mother was making her first visit
with them, and she was anxious to prove to her
how good and “smart” a woman her son had married.
Business had taken her husband away from home (he
was a horse and cattle trader, and was often absent
months at a time), and she had desired to surprise him
on his return by all she had accomplished.
“ Why, you would hardly believe it if I should tell you
all I compassed that summer before Charley was born.
I wove a whole piece of butternut, and made my hus
band a complete suit—a new one for Johnny, too. I
put up sweet pickles, and preserves, and apple butter
enough to last more than a year. We only had
Aunt ’Liza and that lazy, fat Tish in the kitchen, and
Jake for out-doors, and Aunt ’Liza wasn’t much account
that summer, for she had her little Ben a month before
Charley came. But nothing seemed to trouble me.
Husband wrote that he was doing right well, and every
time put in some nice words for me, and how he longed
to see us all. So I worked and worked. I remember
how tired I was when night came. I was always ac
counted a sound sleeper, but that summer I could not
sleep. I. heard the big clock in the entry strike one
and two half the time.”
�28
VARIATION OR CHARACTER
Here, you see, the mother’s activity gave the large
head, while what should have filled it with compact
brain went into the butternut and preserves.
I have known women stand at the ironing-table
ready to drop with fatigue, while they smoothed out
the last crease from the kitchen towel.
It is a growing custom to embroider under-garments,
night-dresses, etc. Such work is extremely fascinating,
and women who can not afford to purchase it, will oft
en allow themselves to stitch far into the night. This
tends to make a child narrow-chested and short-sighted,
and is unfavorable to good looks, and the embroidered
garments do not make it as attractive as would a serene
and sunny disposition. Grace is said to depend on ex
cess of power. Insufficiency of power precludes this
quality, which is even more fascinating than beauty
itself.
There are, unfortunately, among all classes, women
who can not, or do not, extend their thoughts beyond
the trimming on their skirts, or the last small scandal.
Alas! for the high-minded, true-hearted man who unites
his destiny with one of these. Her aims are paltry, and
his fine traits in her keeping are changed to littleness.
She clings to her petty interests, and he can no more
inspire her with larger views than he can mould a mar
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
29
ble image. She represents herself in her children. His
descendants through her progress backward, and he is
obliged to admit that woman has the greater power in
* the formation of character.
After what has been said it will be seen that no
greater mistake can be made than for a mother, while
creating immortals, to drudge and scrimp for the sake
of being some day well, or better off. While she has thus
slaved, sparing herself no restful hours in which to enjoy
the beauty of flower or field, in which to contemplate a
beautiful face or graceful figure in real life or picture,
in which to enjoy music or the creations of genius in
literature, she has fixed irrevocably for this world the
unsatisfactory status of her children who will so poorly
adorn the new house when it is one day built.
There is a ministry without us visible and invisible,
and angels find it difficult to approach with gifts the
mother absorbed by household drudgery.
EFFECT OF IMAGINATION.
[Thia, with the account of the New Berlin Prostitute, was communicated to mo
hy my tri end, Mrs. E. W. Farnham].
In a remote hamlet in one of the then young
Western States, Mrs. F. became acquainted with a
family which included nearly a dozen members, and
nearly all married, and settled within easy distance of
■ the old homestead. The sexes were pretty equally
�30
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
divided, each and every one of these young men and
women being in appearance and character below me
diocrity, with one exception. The latter was a young
girl about nineteen years old, who was so evidently
and remarkably superior both in personal appearance
and nature, that it did not seem possible she could be
long to the same family. Beside the heavy, coarse
faces of her brothers and sisters, hers was angelic in its
graceful contour, long-fringed lids and refined, express
ive mouth. The very curly hair, which resembled the
mother’s only in its curliness, had a golden glint that
removed it by several degrees of relationship from the
wiry red on one side and faded black on the other,
which crowned the broad, low heads of the gruff
brothers and two drowsy-looldng married sisters who
were at this time home on a long visit.
This girl, now the successful teacher of the district
school, filled her place in the always untidy, dilapidated
household, unconscious of being an anomaly. She had
made some effort to brighten the dingy walls, and here
and there the uneven floor of the living-room was con
cealed by pretty rag-mats of her making.
Notwithstanding the inferiority of the family as a
whole, there was a general friendliness among the mem
bers, proceeding from the rough, but unfailing defer
ence shown by the father to the mother. Nelly’s
wishes received a sort of grumbling attention, and her
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
31
opinion was quoted as having weight. Still, owing to
the very relined character of her attractions, they were
evidently to a great extent overlooked by all but her
mother.
Mrs. F. was a long while in getting hold of any clue
that would explain this phenomenon.
No, Nelly was not born in that low dwelling under
the shadow of those catalpas, but in a poorer shanty
in Northern Tennessee.
No, there were no nice people thereabouts ; no kind
Methodist preacher visited them. They were sort of
outside the “ circuit.”
No, there was no school-teacher boarded with them.
There was quite a spell when there was a quarrel about
whose land the school-house occupied, and school didn’t
keep more than three months any way.
In view of so much content in the midst of so much
dirt and disorder, it did not seem worth while to ask if
any one had lent her books which pleased her. How
ever, the conversation evidently recalled pleasant mem
ories, for the weather-beaten countenance of the kindhearted old woman suddenly lit up, and her small eyes
twinkled with happy light as she said :
“We were awful poor about those times, and there
was no look-out for anything better. Some of the
boys had come up here to see if they couldn’t get better
land. But we had no money to buy it with if there
�32
VARIATION OF CHARACTER I
was, and there was a book I must tell you about — a
book that lifted me right out of myself. You see there
came along a peddler—’twas a wonder how he ever got
to such an out-of-the-way place—well, he unpacked his
traps, and among them was a little book with a lovely
green and gold cover. ’Twas the sweetest little thing
you ever saw, and there was just the nicest picture in
the front. I saw ’twas poetry, and on the first page it
said, c The Lady of the Lakethat was all. I did want
that book, and I had a couple of dollars in a stocking
foot on the chimney-shelf, but a dollar was a big thing
then, and I didn’t feel as if I ought to indulge myself,
so I said no, and saw him pack up his things and travel.
“ Then I could think of nothing but that book the
rest of the day, I wanted it so bad, and at night I
couldn’t sleep for thinking of it. At last I got up, and
without making a bit of noise, dressed myself, and
walked four miles to Scranton Centre, where the ped
dler had told me he should stay that night—at the
Browns—friends of ours, they were, and I got him up,
and bought the book, and brought it back with me,
just as contented and satisfied as you can believe. I
looked it over and through, put it under my pillow,
and slept soundly till morning.
“ The next day I began to read the beautiful story.
Every page took that hold of me that I forgot all
about the pretty cover, and perhaps you wouldn’t be
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
33
lieve it, but before Nelly was born, if you would but
give me a word here and there, I could begin at the
beginning, and say it clear through to the end. It ap
peared to me I was there with those people by the
lakes in the mountains—with Allan-bane and his harp,
Ellen Douglas, Malcolm Graeme, Fitz-James, and the
others. I saw Ellen’s picture before me when I was
milking the cow, or cooking on the hearth, or
weeding the little garden. There she was, stepping
about so sweetly in the rhyme, that I felt it to be
all true as the day, more true after I could repeat
it to myself. And then when I found my baby grew
into such a pretty girl, and so smart too, it seemed as if
Providence had been ever so good to me again. But
children are mysteries any way. I’ve wondered a
thousand times why Nelly was such a lady, and why
she loved to learn so much more than the other chil
dren. She has read to me ever since she was ten years
old, and she’s got quite a lot of books there, you see,
ma’am. She’s mighty fond of poetry, too.”
RESULTS OE UNUSED TALENT.
To illustrate the advantages of healthful duties
and self-esteem, and the evils following want of occu
pation, I will give the experience of an old friend, a
former resident of this State. For convenience I will
call her Mrs. Hosmer.
�34
VARIATION OF character:
This daughter of an orderly and peaceful home, in
Western New York, became engaged when quite young
- to an intelligent young man, who afterward became
foreman in her father’s iron-works. Several years
elapsed before the young man felt at liberty to take on
himself the cares and expenses of a family. He sought
to expedite matters by obtaining a California agency
from a large hardware establishment. This took him
from home, and pending the decision, he became in
timately acquainted with another young woman pos
sessing marked personal attractions, different entirely
from those of his long time fiancee. News of
his supposed disloyalty reached his betrothed simul
taneously with his return to his native town with the
agency in his pocket — ready for the ceremony, and
removal to California. The beauty, and alert, independ
ent ways of the young woman in question, were set
forth to the betrothed in a manner calculated to depress
her own self-esteem, and raise a doubt of her lover’s
satisfaction in her, but not enough doubt, she thought,
to justify an explanation, or to impede the marriage,
which therefore took place at once.
In San Francisco, Mrs. Hosmer found herself in what
are considered most fortunate circumstances, a. 0., she
had nothing to do, and had no need of doing anything.
She was a born housekeeper and a skillful cook, but in
a boarding-house these talents remained unexercised.
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
35
She was a neat and swift seamstress, but her mother
having supplied her with the usual superfluity of gar
ments included in a wedding outfit, her talent lay dor
mant in this direction also. Then she was amongst
strangers, shy, and unacquainted with others needing
assistance. So, while her husband was at his place of
business, her sole thought was—bearing in mind her
imaginary rival—Is Martin satisfied with me ? Is he
happy ? Will he think this dress becoming to me ?
Mr. Hosmer went and came, wholly ignorant of the
doubt in his wife’s mind. He was now jovial and un
reserved, now abstracted and anxious, as business prom
ised success or failure; but always gentle and consider
ate with his wife. The latter was a sisterly rather than
a wifely person. There was, therefore, a lack of spon
taneity in the union, yet no real unhappiness on either
side.
In due time a babe was born—a girl—my acquaint
ance with whom commenced when she was about eight
een ; a fair, graceful creature, with a small head on a
large, well-proportioned body, soft, helpless, imploring
blue eyes, a rosebud mouth, and a peculiar, plaintive
tone in her speaking voice.
She had just left a private school, where for years
she had gone through books mechanically, coached for
examinations by her good-natured, brighter companions.
She wrote a neat hand and a limited amount of correct
�36
VAEIATION OF CHAEACTEE
English. But she could never explain a page of her
natural philosophy or algebra, and could not reason on
any subject more profound than the making of a dress
or the dressing of her hair. She was an amiable, affec
tionate, incapable, timid girl, who always leaned on
others for support.
Now, this weak-minded girl had a sister two years
her junior, as unlike, except in the color of her hair, eyes,
and complexion, as any two persons could be. Where
Rosy was insignificantly pretty, Charlotte was commandingly handsome. Firmness, courage, self-reliance,
reasoning faculty, she had in marked measure. She
was already through the high-school studies, taking a
year’s rest between that and the university, while her
mother made the long-wished-for visit East; delighted
to be mistress of the house, since she was practically
skilled in domestic arts herself.
Having previously learned the circumstances thathad so impressed themselves on Rosa, I longed to un
derstand how Mrs. Hosmer was situated before the
birth of her second daughter.
“Were you still boarding when you were pregnant
with Charlotte ? ” I asked, one day. “ She carries her
self with so much dignity, she has so much conscious
power that it does not seem as if she could be related
to Rosy,’*
“Bless you, no,” she replied, laughing. “We were
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
37
keeping house then, and I had the sole care of Captain
Rimes’ three children. Their mother had died, you
remember. Father sent me our old Nora, and she was
a great help to me. Still, I had plenty of responsi
bility, and not a little labor besides. But I had gotten
over all my fears about Martin’s not being happy. He
fairly worshiped Rosy, and was so proud when people
called her a fairy, as they always did. People said we
were the handsomest couple that walked up the aisle in
Starr King’s church. Then, principally, I had no time
to make trouble by analyzing my face in the glass and
proving to myself that I was -a fright, as I used to do.”
CONSTRUCTIVENESS AND ARTISTIC TENDENCY.
Jannette, a well-balanced, conscientious yon ng woman,
had married a sign-painter, who kept strictly within the
limits of his business. She had now three children,
healthy, nice-looking, docile children, but without any
special characteristics. They had been living in a rented
house, but now Jannette’s father, having met with
success in some business venture, purchased for his
daughter a good lot, on which they were able to build
a moderate house. Mrs. T. at this time was pregnant
with her fourth child, and she entered, with the zest
such good fortune would naturally call out, into the
planning and replanning the new home, so as to secure
the maximum of space, comfort, and architectural
�38
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
beauty out of their modest means. With this her
thoughts were occupied during the day, and the even
ings were passed advising together over the height of
doors and windows, the odd spaces for closets, the pre
cise wood for the different floors. This was durino- the
o
latter half of the rainy season. The storms once over,
the lumber was hauled, and the house put up forthwith.
It now became necessary, with the last remnant of
the savings before her, as basis and limit to her opera
tions, to calculate what, of the new furniture needed,
could be bought. The papering also must be con
sidered.
“ I want a touch of what is called the artistic in our
room and the sitting-room, if we can’t do more. Let
me help to choose the wall-paper. I shall have to see
it every minute of the day,” she said.
A first-class Brussels carpet, somewhat worn, was
bought at auction. This was so remodeled as to ap
pear new and elegant. A fringed lambrequin for the
mantel-shelf (which was not marble); a few pretty, but
cheap, brackets; a few photographs of fine paintings,
which had lain out of sight for years, made into passe
partouts, and hung judiciously. Pretty imitation chintz
curtains, with lambrequin top, for the bed-room; sheer
muslin, lined with Turkey-red, for the living-room;
well-fitting chintz covers for the old couch and arm
chair, the colors made to harmonize with carpet and
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
39
wall-paper, which latter was, of course, neutral-tinted; a
hanging-basket, already well-filled and growing, in each
window; a few inexpensive, urn-shaped vases for flow
ers; a graceful evening lamp. This last Jannette
feared an extravagance, but ££ it will be so restful to
our eyes; think of it, dear, every evening.”
When all was ready, a house-warming was given, and
was not our little wife proud of her success ? She really
had not realized before her own talent and good taste.
££ I am sure, Mr. T., you must have spent hundreds of
dollars on all this,” said Mr. T.’s partner’s wife, who
frowned severely on all extravagance. Jannette shook
her head and smiled.
And now, in a few weeks, all was ready for the new
comer— Master Thomas Bliss Trescott, as he was
named. In after years the mother still remembered
the pleasure she had had in the arrangement of their
lovely home, but she did not connect that fact with the
sterling intellect and marked artistic ability of her
fourth child (and second son), notwithstanding that
he was seen by all to be head and shoulders above the
rest in all that makes a man.
JEALOUSY.
No influence, excepting the desire to dislodge and so
murder the unborn, has so damaging an effect on the
character of the child as jealousy. I have but too
>
�40
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
often seen the workings of this emotion and its con
sequent evils.
I once lived in the house of a good-hearted young
Irish woman, the mother of two girls, respectively two
and five years old. The younger was a happy, rollick
ing little dot, needing small care, and finding amuse
ment in everything about her.
- The older" child, a coarse, distorted likeness of her
mother in form and feature, presented a strong contrast
to her sister. There was a sly, malicious expression in
her light blue eyes—at times a vicious leer so horrible
in childhood. I used to watch her at my leisure, and
have seen her deliberately stick a pin into her sister
and push her down, standing silently pleased to see
she was hurt.
“ Do you see how different in disposition your two
girls are ? ” I one day asked the mother.
“ Oh ! sure, I do, Miss,” she replied, “ and I don’t see
why the good God give Katy thim ways she has. She
angers me that much sometimes, that I could just kill
her, I could, when I see her wid me own eyes pinch the
baby, and the darlint looking up as innocent, smilin’, wid
the tears in her eyes, as if she didn’t believe it, nohow.”
“ Did you live here among these beautiful hills be
fore Katy was born ? ” I asked.
“ Shure an’ I did, Miss, and me husband worked in
the factory yonder.”
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
41
“ The scenery is so lovely round here, that if, as you
say, you have a good husband, you ought to have been - happy all the time. Were you quite as happy when
you were carrying Katy as you were with Molly I”
“ Happy, is it, you say, Miss ? an’ shure whin me
husband was tuk up wid another woman, how could I
be happy ? An’ he a spending his money on her, too, an’
the wages got lower, an’ it’s not the money that riled
me neither, it’s me as was but a few months married,
an’ in a strange counthrie, and he a riding more nor
three times wid her in a chaise, it is. Och ! but he’d
been over and larnt the wicked ways before iver he
brought me here. Faith, me heart was broken, it was,
an’ I hated that woman so, I was longing all the time
to lay me hands on her. I’d liked to have murthered
the old divil, an’ I wanted to go to the factory an’ in
form on her, but me husband cursed me, and threat
ened to kill me if I did.”
I knew her husband, and he was a very fair specimen
of the better class of Irish laborers. He behaved him
self very well, I thought, and was never tired of play
ing with the baby Molly. It was by slow observation
I discovered that illicit relations make a man cruel,
brutal to the wife he deserts.
“ And was he still behaving so badly while you were
bearing the baby Molly ? ” I asked.
<£ The saints be praised, no, Miss. The woman moved
�42
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
away a bit after Katy was born. Bad ’cess to her, and
Pat giv’ up his bad ways afther, and trated me rale well,
too. The baste of a woman niver come back, an’ I tuk
no more throuble consarning her.”
“ That was sensible and kind, too, in you,” I said;
“ but it would have been better for poor Katy if she
had gone sooner. You see, you put all your hatred of
that woman into Katy, and she is not so good or so
pretty in consequence.”
“An’ do you mane to say, Miss, that God could
make me Katy bad, an’ me a sufferin’ too ? ”
“Well, but did not she lie right under your heart
when you were longing to lay hands on that wicked
woman ? All your feelings went with the blood that
nourished her every day through all those months. It
was a sad chance for her, poor child.”
It was some time before the good creature could
accept an idea so foreign to her crude opinions on the
subject. But she saw at last how it must be. She
promised to control her temper (she was again preg
nant), and I advised her not to be severe in her treat
ment of poor Katy, but to give her a little garden in
the poorly-fenced lot, with some cheap seeds to plant
to occupy her mind; and for herself, she should not
dwell on Katy’s looks and imperfections, but enjoy
Molly all she could, and sing every day some of her
sweet Irish songs.
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
43
During courtship it is the habit of the mind to avoid
all topics on which disagreement is anticipated. This
comes of a longing for sympathy, and a fear of losing
whatever degree of it is possible between the parties.
It is a dangerous course, and imperils future happiness,
because after marriage all disguises are sure to be drop
ped, and the want of harmony in opinion and feeling
becomes at once prominent.
Under such circumstances an excellent young man
of our acquaintance, whom we will call K., became
the husband of a lady of equally admirable, but wholly
different character, by name C. A few months of
married life sufficed to reveal the width of the gulf be
tween them. It could not be ignored. Their estimate
*
of individuals, actions, looks, were always at variance.
Shrinking from the pain of dissent, C. learned to limit
her conversation to the very simplest matters of house
hold occurrence, then to the baby, who seemed to have
inherited all the inharmony of the alliance, never con
tent, always awake.
Other children were born to them, capable, conscien
tious children, wanting serene affection and content
ment, as only love can beget love. So the years went
on, when circumstances threw K. almost daily into the
society of one of those women who appeal directly to
the passions of a man—a handsome animal, with no
scruples of conscience as to the misery she might bring
�44
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
on another woman. K. felt more at home in the
company of one below his own plane, than with one
who was above it, and plunged at once into what is
politely termed a liason.
While this affair was at its height, C. found herself
pregnant; and her husband expressing his annoyance at
the prospect of another child, and dreading the effect
on the child of her own desolation and sense of wrong,
she would have rejoiced could she have brought on the
menstrual flow. Finding this an impossibility at so
early a stage, and unwilling to risk injuring the child
later on, she made up her mind to do her “ level best ’’
and bear it. By sheer force of will, and by the most
passionate prayer for help from Above, to enable her to
live above her surroundings, to save her from bearing
malice; shutting her eyes to the cruel insensibility of
FT. and his affinity, keeping them open to the needs of
others, she lived day by day, working, aspiring, dread
ing lest her efforts should fail to save her child, deter
mined that he should be saved.
The effect of her high endeavor astonished even her
self. She had lifted him above the clouds and put him
en rapport with greater good and wiser wisdom than
came to the other children. His nature proved to be
hopeful and trustful, with more affection to bestow on
the mother who had thus struggled for him, than sons
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
45
usually feel for mothers, and more force of intellect
than easier conditions would have ensured.
Could any instance more fully prove the mother’s
peculiar power in moulding the constitution of her
child ? The father’s thoughts were all engrossed with
his mistress. The mother’s persistent, intelligent, un
selfish aspiration alone saved her son from being the
spiritual brother of poor Katy—the child of malice.
THE NEW HEELIN' PROSTITUTE.
The following illustrates the fearful consequences of
sexual indulgence during pregnancy:
“ Charlotte and I were school-mates and dear friends
ever since I can remember anything,” said the young
woman. “ Our parents had been friends before us. I
think we were equals in every sense, except that Lotty
was handsomer than I. We became engaged and were
married on the same day, when I was twenty-one and
she twenty-two years of age. Our husbands are both
honorable and kind men, and so far as our married
lives are concerned, we have both been well situated.
“In about the usual time after marriage we found
ourselves pregnant, and as we lived not far distant
from each other, we made our babies’ wardrobes in
company, anticipating, with much pleasure, the already
dear children.
�46
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
“We had passed the fifth month, when Lotty, for
the first time, alluded to her most private life with her
husband, saying she was so glad that she could respond
so fully to his demands. It had not been so at first,
but now the relation occurred almost every night, and
she experienced quite as much emotion as he did, to
his very great satisfaction.
“I made an exclamation of surprise, and then was
silent. My own experience had been entirely opposed
to hers, but I knew nothing of right or wrong in such
matters ; I had nothing to reply.
“ In due time, to our great delight, we each held a
daughter in our arms. Other children followed pretty
close on then’ track, and our meetings, though no less
cordial, became less frequent. The years flew past on
swift wing. Our eldest children were thirteen years
old; mine a refined, conscientious, reliable girl; hers
too mature bodily, and with a rather handsome, but
positive, sensual face. In order—as they intended—to
check the forwardness of her manners, she was sent to
boarding-school. Here she climbed out of the window
at night, and having had an intrigue with a boy belong
ing to an academy near by, was expelled from the insti
tution. The parents entreated, bribed, threatened,
with no signs of improvement on her part. Finally,
when this poor child wanted two months of reaching
her fifteenth year, she left her home, and of her own
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
47
free will became the inmate of a brothel. Once or
twice, through the help of a detective, she was recov
ered ; but only to escape again to follow the life that
suited her organization.
“ Her father’s head was bowed with grief. The mother
became hard and irritable, growing to hate the child
who had brought on them so much sorrow and shame.
I grieved for them, but I never understood the case
till I heard you speak of the mother’s power over her
unborn child. Now I see that Maria was the victim
of her parents’ ignorance.” *
VIOLATION OE SEXUAL LAW DURING PREGNANCY.
I will briefly refer to another instance where the
child so fatally endowed was a boy.
The sisters of this boy—women of some presence—
* Dr. Sanger, who is authority on the subject of pros
titution, says that the observation of years among the
abandoned class, has led him to the conclusion that only
one woman in a thousand is brought to adopt the life of a
prostitute from the same sensual proclivities that make a
man consort with the abandoned. Seduction by a lover,
followed by the rejection of society, poverty, inability to
labor, desire for elegant clothing, and various other causes,
have brought the other nine hundred and ninety-nine into
this bitter degradation. The young girl alluded to above
was one of the esceptions. Since while pregnant—women,
sad to say, have been constantly forced to yield their per
sons to the lusts of the husband, they have in spirit re
belled against the unnatural demand, instead of heartily
assenting.
�48
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
were already married, and mothers, when their mother
found herself pregnant at forty-five. The husband
was much gratified at the prospect of becoming a fa
ther at sixty, and expressed this satisfaction in frequent
relations with his wife. It so happened that their pe
cuniary circumstances were easier than at any previous
time, and the wife employed “help,” which relieved
her of all the severer household duties. She was not
an intellectual or cultivated woman, and the unaccus
tomed leisure did not prove a boon, since it left her
with unspent strength to meet and respond to the
demands made upon her quite up to the time of the
infant’s arrival. Thus, you see, the boy had imparted
to him over-active amativeness, combined with small
mental activities. How should he when a man restrain
his passions, when during all his ante-natal life his
parents had put no restraint on theirs ? He did not.
He showed himself a low bully among his school-mates,
and the dread of the younger girls, before he had
reached his “teens.” After that, his sensual, brutal
behavior actually repelled his boy-companions. When
a man, he barely escaped being the inmate of a prison,
as he had been already of worse places.
The man who is dominated by this one quality is
very often handsome, magnetic, and attractive to women.
He boasts privately, if not publicly, of his conquests,
holding no reputation sacred.
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
49
Perhaps to common observation he is a gentleman,
and you hear of his liasons in a whisper. AlasI for
the wives of these gay cavaliers. They lead a lonely
life, since he spends the best of himself—his suave
manners and good nature—in fact, all of himself else
where.
Suddenly and all unexpectedly you hear that this at
tractive man, not forty-five, is sinking down with some
insidious disease. It is called neuralgia in the head, or
paralysis, and the doctor has the promise of a long job.
It is, in fact, softening of the brain, caused by excessive
passional excitement and the undue drain on his vital
forces. He may live years, his digestive organs holding
out better, because having drifted into idiocy there is
no longer any wear and tear of the mind.
This man has been “ successful ” with women, and
this is the finale.
THE father’s INFLUENCE THROUGH THE WIFE.
Mr. Z., a man of thirty-five, of a refined, intellect
ual, but rather cold nature, married his ward, an
amiable, immature girl of fifteen. Her attraction for
him lay in her youthful affection and her healthy,
handsome, physical characteristics. She had in her the
“makings” of a thoughtful, self-reliant woman; but
development in natural order was arrested by her being
placed in so false a position—a wife at scarcely fifteen.
�50
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
Very soon after the marriage she found herself
pregnant. Meanwhile, Mr. Z. for love of her and for
the sake of companionship, earnestly endeavored to
awaken in her some intellectual tastes. He read to
her, explaining and illustrating as he went along, many
of the standard English poets and essayists. She lis
tened, received, and grew en rapport with him.
Under these favorable auspices their first child was
born. She was the child of the father, and wore his
features, toned to greater delicacy of outline and purer
colors. Her mind as she grew to womanhood was of a
quite superior order, but wanted the breadth and gen
erosity which more warmth in the father, and greater
ripeness in the mother, would have secured to her.
This infant once in the mother’s arms there could
be no further leisure for literary or poetic culture. And
as it was not possible for intellectual habits to be formed
in the short space of twelve months, the young girl
naturally slid back to her former plane of life. This
was the more inevitable as their pecuniary circum
stances made it necessary for Mrs. Z. to take sole charge
of her little one.
Two years from this time another child was born to
them—a girl also; but in whom Mrs. Z.’s mental cali
bre was represented, while her fine physical traits were
omitted.
With the more all-engrossing cares of the young
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
51
wife, the daily life of herself and husband grew insen
sibly apart. And now a new personage appeared on the
scene—a lady of a brilliant, comprehensive, and highly
cultivated mind, to which was added a keen and com
prehensive interest in the most important reform move
ment of the day, for which Mr. Z. had signally failed
to enlist his wife’s sympathy.
Now'it was but natural that Mrs. Z., observing the
eagerness with which her husband became engrossed
in conversation with his guest, argument following argu
ment, constant reference made at breakfast, dinner,
supper to events and personages of which she was
wholly ignorant, should grow uncomfortable, depressed,
jealous. The talented lady was oblivious to the im
pression she was making, but she had too noble a nat
ure to willingly make trouble between man and wife.
The new yeai’ came, and the fascinating guest de
parted. The husband, reviewing the past months,
charged himself with gross neglect of his wife, and
sought, by the most delicate and considerate attention,
to atone for his neglect. Mrs. Z. was now nearing her
twentieth year, and was enciente with her third child.
She was overjoyed to have her husband all to herself
again, and expressed that satisfaction in responding
passionately to the almost nightly embrace. In due
time a son was bom—a handsome animal he proved to
be. “ What a pity that excellent people like the Z.’s
�52
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
should be cursed with so vile a son! ” was the common
remark when the young man’s reputation as a libertine
had become fully established.
ILL EFFECTS OF MORAL COWARDICE.
The common, ideal woman is a weak, disingenuous,
cowardly creature. She has no earnest convictions, no
purpose, no sincerities within her.
Happily, this
worthless ideal is breaking up, or is treasured only by
weak-kneed clerks in city stores, and lads still in their
teens. Rosa Hosmer had a dozen of this kind calling
on her. Their self-love was gratified by the slight con
trast between their weak-mindedness and hers. The
vanity of an obtuse, illiterate man is piqued by the
superiority of a woman, while a large-natured, chiv
alrous man feels honored in her regard.
“How
weak-minded must a woman be to meet with your
approbation!” said a lady in a stage coach of some
fellow-passengers who were inveighing against strongminded women. They looked at one another perplexed,
and slightly ashamed of the absurdity of their position,
and one of the number who recovered his senses be
fore the others, replied: “ I believe you’ve got the best
of us, ma’am. I guess none of us would want a par
ticularly silly wife.”
I met once, in New York, a young man of very re
markable acquirements, with great decision of character,
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
53
and large self-esteem. “ If I ever many,’’ he remarked,
“ my wife will always have to yield implicit obedience
to my commands, or there will be open warfare in the
house.”
“ Your children will be a stalwart set, then,” I re
plied, “ with their mother a mere mush of concession.”
He did not see what she had to do with it. The
children would be
children, and being his, would do
him credit. He was not wanting in clear reasoning
powers, and having great family pride—pride of race,
I should say—after considerable argument, was honest
enough to admit that there must be truth on my side.
UNIMPRESSIBILITY.
There are some cold, narrow, positive women so im
pervious to the influence of others, so insensitive that
the husband, if he is superior, can hardly ever repre
sent himself in his children.
I am acquainted with a gentleman conspicuous among
his fellows for gra.ce of soul and nobility of nature.
He has the tenderness of a woman combined with mas
culine heroism. Of his six children not one equals
the father. The mother, self-willed and external in char
acter (though, of course, violently opposed to woman’s
rights and strong-minded women), had children much
alike, and all like herself. A very faulty, but sympa
thetic woman, has often finer children than those frig
�54
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
idly virtuous mothers who are never stirred to the
depths by any event or consideration.
An artist of no mean powers took to wife a gentle,
characterless girl. He did not wish his wife to be in
tellectual, and decidedly she was not. They had chil
dren “ fast,” and it was not long before her amiability
changed to fretfulness. She flung all her cares on her
husband, had a doctor in the house continually, and at
thirty was a faded, complaining, old woman. At thirtyfour her seventh child was laid in her arms. The
father, despairing of the others, stuck a paint brush in
the tiny fist of the latest born, and vowed he should
be a painter. In vain,—this son, it is true, dabbled in
paints, but had no more genius than the others, not
withstanding that he was a seventh child.
ASKING FOR MONEY.
Mrs. Myrtle was a lovely young woman, lovely in
mind and body, but for one defect—viz., a want of
firmness and self-esteem. She was surrounded by all
the comforts and elegancies that wealth could procure,
and was yet the abject slave of a gentlemanly tyrant.
She could not receive or pay visits, go shopping, or to
a matinee without first obtaining permission from her
master. And she was always giving an account of her
self in a pacificatory manner. When she suffered
humiliation, she blamed her husband, and not the stand
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
55
ard slie had given hiiii. Mrs. M. had three boys, and
they were the most inveterate liars. How could it be
otherwise, when their mother spent half her time in
eluding inspection, and half in making confession,
while she regularly searched Mr. M.’s pockets for coins
that could be spent without explaining il what for.’’
I could draw another picture where the husband, as
soon as his means permitted, placed money in the bank
in his wife’s name, that she might feel the interest was
more really hers to spend as she pleased without any
sense of obligation.
REPRESSED EXTERNAL ACTIVITIES.
A very remarkably superior woman, but without
quick, external perceptive faculties to give her insight,
into character, mistook a handsome, unprincipled brute
for a man and gentleman. What she endured for six
months after her marriage could not be written. When
she found herself enciente, for the sake of the child
she sought refuge with an humble friend at a distance
from her unhappy home. Being pinched for means,
she earned money by her needle, endeavoring, at the
same time, to banish from her memory the recollection
of her late cruel experience.
Day after day this regal woman sat sewing with
Elizabeth Browning’s poems open on a chair beside her,
�56
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
committing to memory the most interior of those re
ligious strains as she stitched, stitched in the solitude
of the low-roofed cottage hy the river. No exhilarat
ing rides on horseback, such as had been her wont, no
genial, social company, no brisk walks and happy
communion with nature, were possible in her peculiar
circumstances. She must forego the healthy, harmoni
ous, external life of her past, and live solely within the
inmost chambers of her soul.
At two years old the little girl bom of these unto
ward conditions was lovely, large-eyed, thoughtful,
considerate, and tender in her ways as any lady.
“ "Where are your wings, Mary ? ” said a gentleman who
noticed the radiant face at the mother’s garden gate.
For these seemed only necessary to prove her a seraph.
Alas! to her mother’s infinite sorrow, she very soon
departed to more blissful realms. The constantly re
pressed emotions of her mother, and her sedentary life,
had caused an imperfect action of the lungs, and a low
vital tone generally. Grief shortens the breathing as
joy expands the lungs. Little Mary was extremely
narrow-chested, with sloping shoulders, and hence quite
unable to supply sufficient sustenance for so very large a
brain, whose weight she bent under, and died, shortly
after completing her second year, of acute hydroce
phalus.
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
‘ ' 57
BEAUTY.
Beauty of form and feature should not be, as it is
now, exceptional. It should be the rule. And there
will come a time when parents will be held as much re
sponsible for an ill-favored, ungainly child, as they are
beginning to be for their dishonest or vicious children.
The English nobility are celebrated the world over
for personal beauty and elegant manners. What cause
or causes lie back of this significant fact ?
So far as manners are concerned, we know that they
are the result of generations of culture, confirmed by
generations of use. They suppose leisure and good
manners for company, as Emerson has suggested.
The bustle and hurry of the work-a-day-world afford no
room for polished manners, and only when co-opera
tion shall have taken the place of our present wasteful
and cruel competition, shall we have time for graceful
living. Hard labor and worry will in time wear out
the most charming and inbred politeness.
With regard to the personal beauty of the class al
luded to, let us turn to its past—the past of this heredi
tary nobility. The blood which held courage, selfrespect, and the ability to control others, deserved in a
sense the deference and admiration it commanded.
Then, as these qualities, in themselves and their retro
active effects, favored the production of the more mas-
�58
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
culine and striking forms of beauty, that type was
repeated through successive generations until in the
later times it has been modified by the increasing def
erence to human rights, and refined by intellectual and
moral culture. The hereditary transmission of superior
personal traits was the more certain because the wife of
the lord was a lady, and the wife of the duke a duchess,
and as lady and duchess, they believed that the very
marrow in their bones excelled in worth that of every
man and woman ranking below them in the social scale.
And this saved them from the belittling consciousness
so debasing to their children, that, as women, they were
inferior to men.
We have learned in these days that blood runs out
as well as in (on the very principle I am seeking to
prove), and the nobleman and woman of genius appear
quite as often outside the charmed circle of hereditary
distinction as within it. Still, the law is inflexible, and
never evaded. Beauty is not born of cowardice, sub
serviency, or grief. The more culture, the more the
blood is worked over, the finer the types, provided we
grow more related to humanity, and less to a class.
Pure, unselfish love is in very fact the mother of
beauty, as happiness is the mother of song. And what
can awaken gladness in a wife so certainly as the ever
watchful kindness of her husband ?
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
59
DAISY B-------- .
I was at one time intimate with, a couple who were
noticeably plain and angular in appearance. He, from
ill-health, had an irritable disposition. She was easily
excited. But they were truly mated, and whatever of
these peculiarities appeared in society, they disappeared
before the door-step of the home was reached. A per
fect confidence existed between them, and the unvary
ing respect and courtesy shown by the husband toward
his wife did honor to them both.
It was a late marriage, and one daughter alone came
to bless them. A child lovely from her birth, bearing
scarce any resemblance to either parent. A delicate,
oval face, creamy complexion, soft, intelligent black
eyes, a sweet mouth, and a shower of golden curls;
not an angle about her, simply a beauty from baby
hood to womanhood.
a Tou think it unaccountable,” said the father to me,
“ that my wife and I, who are both so plain, should have
so pretty a child as Daisy. But I have studied it out,
and I settle it this way. My great-grandmother was
a famous beauty and a noted belle in her day, and it is
her features that have cropped out in Daisy.”
“ And let me tell you,” I answered, with equally im
pressive gesture of the forefinger. “ Let me tell you
that both of your great-grandmothers might have been
�60
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
as handsome as the Venus de Medici and the Venus of
Milo in one, but if you had not bestowed the most
chivalrous attention on your excellent wife while she
was bearing Daisy—if you had not made her so thor
oughly happy by your loving -words and thoughtful
care, there would have been no cropping out of beauty
in the little daughter. Sweet and lovely thoughts re
solve themselves into symmetry of form and face.
Mental and physical traits do undoubtedly reappear in
the same family after a longer or shorter period, but
never without the right conditions for their re-incarna
tion. You may take at least half the credit of Daisy’s
good looks to yourself, and the other half belongs to
her good mother.”
ministers’ children.
There is a common proverb which says that ministers’
children are worse than other people’s. We shall not
inquire into the case, but we would suggest that there is
no power without freedom, and no deep sentiment with
out solitude, and the minister’s wife can enjoy neither
freedom nor solitude where the parishioners provide the
(Salary; for ghe is considered the property of the par
ish—her words and actions are forever criticised. She
must conciliate the easily offended, steer clear of church
factions, abstain from downrightness of speech. The
dangers of her situation are permanently impressed
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
61
upon her, for is not the bread they eat dependent on
unanimity of opinion in the society respecting their
worth? If she can think her own thoughts, she cer
tainly must not express them. If she has any doubt
concerning any part of the creed, she must force it
back and make believe that the strait-jacket is as easy
as a knitted shirt.
. Children born amid these petty oppressions are not
likely to be patterns of perfection. Then they are not
allowed to be bad like other children, and to get, by
degrees, rid of their inharmony. If they break win
dows or punch noses, they are considered fearfully de
praved, and to reflect on the father. So they learn to
consult appearances, and give up the only experience
that would make men of them. Too much catechism
and formal prayer during their early years must give a
disgust for the solemnities, and create a distrust of
earnest living and thinking, integrity and sincerity.
Just in proportion to the degree of irrationality of the
creed, are the chances for damaging the characters of
the minister’s children.
Love of Truth expands the soul;
Fear of Evil cramps it.
The most unproductive use one can put one’s mind
and heart to, is hatred of evil, of meanness, falsehood,
ugliness in others. It does not even prove that we
�62
VAEIATION OF CHARACTER
possess the opposite virtues. Especially if we would
convey to our children generosity, ingenuousness, and
beauty, let our hearts be filled with admiration of these
divine qualities. As I have shown, we reproduce that
which most impresses us. If it is ugliness, and we hate
it, still we reproduce it, because we have dwelt on it.
Do not then, when enciente, permit yourself to analyze
or dislike imperfections of either mind or body, for this
puts the unborn en rapport with that imperfection.
VALUE OF TEMPOEAEY EFFOET.
It certainly ought to encourage any mother to know,
that no matter what her particular faults may be, she
can lessen if not obliterate them in her child, by mak
ing a great effort, in the right direction for so short a
period as nine or even six months.
That she should make herself over entirely would
appear a too formidable undertaking, but with such a
motive she could aid her child. She may have, for
instance, a quick temper, which she will determine to
control; or she may lack order, or a good memory; or
she may be wanting in quiet serf-esteem (though she
have inward self-respect). Either of these deficiences
may be greatly lessened.
I will here insert a letter which I received some time
ago from a young woman who had become greatly in
terested in the subject before us, and who was remark
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
63
ably wanting in what the phrenologist calls “ concentrativeness,” and also in consecutiveness of thought:
“You know what a day-dreamer I have always been.
This has helped to confirm my ‘ scatterbrains ’ tendency.
At first it did not seem to me reasonable that intentional
activity in any direction could have the desired effect. If
circumstance j outside of one's self aroused in a woman one
or another set of faculties, naturally enough they might be
prominent in the child. But this going to work with mal
ice prepense, I feared would avail but httle. However, I
made up my mind to give my child the benefit of the
doubt.
“Every day I obliged myself to explain certain problems
in geometry. This would favor continuity of thought, I
decided. Then I began to recall continually the ideas that
just flitted into my mind and out again. They would re
turn, and I would dwell a little more on them—see other
sides to them ; the connection in which they stood to
some other idea. Then, after a httle I felt tired, and let
them go, but still held my mind in readiness for their re
turn. It really both amused and astonished me to see
them come trooping back. Why, thought is a series of
pictures! I exclaimed. It is ah illustration. The ‘ fetch
ing myself up standing ’ in this way was rather hard work
the first two months, but it became easier, and I grew to
enjoy my own improvement wonderfully. Of course there
were interruptions and discouragements, but I held on
bravely, and I am sure successfully, for Walter, at three
years old, would fix his mind on a person or a picture in a
book, and keep his attention on it to the amusement of
�64
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
all observers; and now if you tell him to make his slate
full of figures, he pegs away at it till there is not room for
one more.”
MUSICAL ABILITY.
During the winter which followed the summer of
their union the X.’s became members of a coterie, with
which dancing was held in high esteem. Mrs. X. was
enciente, but showed her condition scarcely at all, and
so danced, and afterward played for the dancers at the
hebdomadal reunions, up to within a month of her
confinement.
She had left school with fair musical powers fairly
cultivated, and with a voice sweet, but not powerful.
The lover who had praised her singing, when her hus
band, spoke in thoughtless, disparaging strain of its
quality. This so wounded and discouraged her that no
inducement could make her open her lips again. But,
as I have said, she continued to play on the piano-forte,
more or less on each occasion, “ dance music ” already
at her fingers’ ends, and short, easy, gay compositions
with which she was familiar before leaving school, and
which needed no notes as reminders. At home she
read and studied no new music, or music of a higher
character. This was partly because her musical taste
was uncultivated, and partly because the new draft on
her energy was attended by depression, and she felt
justified in yielding to her feelings, and dropping all
�THBOUGn THE MOTIIEB.
65
mental and bodily effort. “ I will be more studious,
more orderly and hospitable after baby is born. But
now I shall drop everything—let things slide.”
The boy born of these ante-natal circumstances re
sembled his father in his coarser mental calibre, while
he lacked the ambition and steady purpose which char
acterized the latter. He, however, took to the keys of
the piano as a duck takes to water. When a lad, his fin
gers grasped the chords and flew swiftly through the
scales. This endless series of polkas, schottisch.es, and
cotilions wearied the entire household.
He hated
classical music, and cared little for vocal melody or
harmony.
Two years after the birth of this boy, a younger sister
of Mrs. X. made them a visit of some months’ duration,
and she insisted that Clara should take part with her
in duets, notwithstanding that her unused voice and
pregnant state promised little success from the effort.
As soon as Mr. X. was quite out of sight on the way to
his business (for the old criticism still rankled in her
mind, and the mutual performance was kept a secret
from him), the two would be at the instrument with
Mendelssohn, Wallace, and others before them, making
delicious harmony. There is nothing like singing to
free the soul, and awaken its heights and depths.
Nothing could have been more fortunate for little
Clara, who made her entry into the world before her
�66
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
aunt’s departure, than the antecedent occupation of her
mother. In time her voice proved to he as sweet and
far stronger than her mother’s, and in all her nature
she realized the inspiring effect of those hours when
persuaded by her sister, her mother had lost sight of
herself in the pure emotions and thoughts of those
famous masters.
GRIEF.
The cause of grief very seriously affects its character.
If it is based on a sense of wrong, as in the case of a
husband’s unfaithfulness, then indignation, anger,
malice make a part of it, and a pregnant wife, dis
tracted by these emotions, conveys to her child, as we
have shown, the violent emotions she herself experi
enced.
If the bad, the unprincipled conduct of a son from
whom we had expected reverence and manliness bows
us down, a sense of wrong and shame, a feeling that it
might have been avoided, mixes with our grief and em
bitters it.
But if death, from natural causes, which no woman’s
eye could foresee and provide against, strikes down one
near and dear to us, we simply mourn, and this grief
may open the inner chambers of the soul hitherto closed.
Thus Mrs. W., an external, worldly-minded woman,
not wanting in common benevolence or sense of duty,
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
67
simply without dignity or elevation of character, was
married to an energetic, sensible, practical man, the
manager and owner of a large foundry. Their circum
stances were, therefore, quite easy. An inferior kind
of social life occupied much of Mrs. W.’s time, and
amid these conditions their first child, a girl, was born.
This child, on the principle that inferior fruit ripens
early, was as mature as she would ever be at sixteen.
At twenty she was shallow, pretentious, illiterate,
which last her mother was not.
When five months pregnant with her second child,
the news was suddenly brought to Mrs. W. that her
husband, whom business had called several hundred
miles from his home, had been stricken down with
yellow fever, and, among total strangers, had passed
away, in his delirium calling wildly on his wife for
help. The loss made a more profound impression on
Mrs. W. than it would have done had she not been
pregnant. She had accepted Mr. W. from sentiments
of gratitude, and now she was moved to make a strict
self-examination as to her imperfect appreciation of his
love and kindness. Worldly motives and thoughts were
silenced. Conscience and finer judgment were active.
The second child, modified by these four grave, ear
nest months, was made up of sincerity, earnest thought,
and unfailing benevolence. Her early disregard for
appearances, as compared to realities, made a wide gulf
�68
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
that could never be bridged between the two sisters.
There was absolutely no relationship between them.
Marian’s plain, honest, eager, affectionate face was
/ grand beside the empty, pretty one of her elder sister.
The younger was slow in developing her whole nature,
which was transcendent in its interior moral character
istics. The blow came too late to seriously injure the
physical. There was just the unavoidably less degree
of robustness between herself and sister, which, with
the absence of hope and common gayety, favored grav
ity in the former.
THE BLACK SHEEP.
I
The black sheep of a family is to be pitied rather
than hated. He is the wronged, as well as the wrong
doer. Many years ago such an one came frequently
under my observation. The family consisted of five
boys and three girls, all but the one in question re
markably good-looking, gentle - hearted, fairly intelli
gent, thoroughly temperate, and honest. The third,
in order, of the boys, was a coarse, brutal, unprincipled
fellow, the dread and despair of his timid mother,
whose money, and even clothing, he would steal (the
latter to pawn), and whose life he would constantly
threaten when a mere lad. He was at home only in a
groggery, and that not so much on account of a love of
liquor, as from his need of companions on his own
plane. He was more than once in prison; oftener
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
69
escaped through the prayers and management of his
mother. Who, now, was responsible for this danger
ous member of society ?
The father was an amiable, inefficient, illiterate, tem
perate man ; a waster of other people’s time ; an inter
minable talker of nothings. The mother, an amiable,
industrious, capable woman, who patched and knitted
and made a few dollars by nursing, at the call of the
village doctor—a most tender and devoted mother, a
too generous neighbor. Passing the unfinished habita
tion one day, I stopped to admire the double holly
hocks and breathe the perfume from the beds of herbs.
At the same moment I heard a loud cry for help, and
the old lady came hurriedly round the corner of the
house, followed by her son, with a hoe in his hand up
raised to strike her. Seeing me, he flung the hoe aside
and walked sullenly out of the gate. Sitting on the
doorstep wiping her tears away with the corner of hei’
apron, the unhappy woman apologized for her evil son
* in this wise :
“We were always poor, living from hand to mouth.
My husband never had any faculty for making a living.
I strove and strove to keep my children from want, and
keep them looking decent. There were now six of
them, and I was nearly distracted when I found I was
going to have another. At this point, late in the fall,
my husband went off and stayed four months with a
�ro
VARIATION OR CHARACTER
well-to-do uncle of his, leaving me and the six children
without food or fire-wood. I had endured all patiently
till then, but this made me full of bitterness and anger.
I was just raving—quite beside myself all the time.
A neighbor helped me, and trusted me a little, so that
we kept from starving; but this did not prevent me
from feeling indignation, almost hatred, toward a
father who could be so unfatherly. Thomas showed
the same disposition from a child.”
“my
consolation.”
Here is a counterpart to the preceding narrative.
We had gone to visit an invalid friend who himself
had climbed these mountain heights to escape the fogs
below on the sea-shore. Here, cosily sheltered by the
summit, surrounded by peach and cherry-trees, and
looking down on wooded heights and gorges, we found
a most excellent hotel. The host, a mild, intelligent
man, was himself quite delicate; his wife, on the con
trary, was one of those rarely met with, magnetic, generous-natured women, whose coming affects one like
the ocean breezes. She had, so she told us, nine chil
dren living and one dead. Only such a brave, boun
teous creature could have been equal to this, and never
in one instance bring reproach on her motherhood. It
is of the tenth I would speak, now a lad of sixteen,
observing whom the invalid remarked : “ I shall get
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
71
well just looking at that boy. What a manly, affec
tionate fellow I ”
“ I call him my consolation,” said his mother.
“ Ide can do anything, and he does it so easily, so
quietly.” And, indeed, the way in which this refined
lad handed you your plate, your glass of milk, or cup
of coffee, gave a dignity to the meal, while conferring
honor on all parties concerned. The phrase “ menial
labor ” had no significance when he was basting the
meat or ironing the “belated” table-cloths for his
mother.
Usually, when a woman in very straitened circum
stances has an extremely large family, she presently
becomes oppressed and discouraged. Her ambition is
foiled. She can neither clothe, educate, nor train the
children properly, and the latest comers are apt to have
a poorer make-up—a fag-end sort of air. Here, on the
contrary, was the flower of the flock, a youth full of
faculty, at home on the piano-forte stool as at the
knife-board, determined to sustain his mother at all
hazards.
I sought eagerly the explanation of this phenomenon,
and the happy mother in full, varied, and affectionate
tones, gladly replied to my inquiries.
“ When I found myself pregnant with my tenth
child, the nine were living and all at home. My hus
band’s salary—he was a preacher—was between three
�12
VARIATION OK CHARACTER
and four hundred dollars a year. Fortunately, we
owned the little place on which we lived, and yet, if
you will recall those Eastern winters, you will realize
the great difficulty I had in keeping us all clothed as
well as'fed. It seemed to me not a virtue, but a sin, to
bring more children into the world, and I made up my
mind that this should be the very last. I would take
matters into my own hands.
“ But the thing now to be thought of was a little
clothing for the expected baby. I had not a rag to
make over, not a dollar for the purpose.
At this juncture a gentleman, an agent for some re
ligious publication house, called, and as the custom was,
I asked him to spend the day, which he did, and I had
considerable talk with him. He left, and returned
while I was preparing supper, and seemed greatly sur
prised to find that I had no help. ‘What 1 nine chil
dren to cook and sew for, and no help 1 ’ He had never
supposed such a thing possible. I explained that I had
a primitive constitution, but still I found myself giv
ing way lately. Whenever I had a trifle ready to pay
out, which was very seldom, I employed, it was true, a
woman poorer than myself, but less burdened, to do
the washing. His astonishment, however, continued.
“ A week or two after this visit, I received a letter
from a distant city, saying that my case had made a
profound impression on him, and that having met with
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
73
coterie of ladies belonging to a certain congregation
who were anxious to assist some missionary, or help in
some other good cause, he had mentioned me and my
circumstances, and they were of one mind, eager to
help me, and wished to know if I would accept a pres
ent in the spirit in which it was offered; and if so,
would I indicate what things would be most useful
to me.
“ I was glad, and willing to accept anything, and in
replying mentioned infants’ wear and children’s clothes
as most needed.
“ In return came a large box with every sort of
child’s garments, a roll of flannel, and a complete in
fant’s wardrobe of the nicest material and most beau
tifully made — embroidered flannels, dresses prettily
tucked and edged—things lovely to look at.
“ An immense load was taken off my mind. I was
actually filled with delight whenever I thought of these
delicate, pretty things, and how comfortable my baby
would be. I went about my tasks after this in a spirit
of love and thanksgiving. You see Paul! He has
been my consolation since his babyhood. No tempta
tion could make him less positively good, less conscien
tious, or less affectionate than he is.”
As this large-hearted woman related to me these in
teresting facts, I could not help wishing that the kind
ladies who had been instrumental in bringing about so
a
�74
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
happy a result, as well as the gentleman who had given
the impetus to their benevolence, could know how valu
able had been the effects.
KLEPTOMANIA.
The word kleptomania is used to indicate the habit
of stealing, by those persons with whom wealth pre
cludes the ordinary temptation to the act. Certain
women of position are regularly watched by clerks in
stores because they are known to carry off laces, rib
bons, etc., when they fancy themselves unobserved.
Such women have very inferior minds independent of
this one vice. In the mother of such an one the desire
to get and to keep things of material value, must have
been exceedingly prominent. Many an honest mother
mourns over the unscrupulous dishonesty of her son,
while all unwittingly she conveyed to him the over
powering impulse; or there was not rigid probity
enough in her own life to overrule the dishonest tend
ency conveyed by her husband:
In the first case, her desire to get and to keep would
be harmless and justifiable as a temporary state of
mind, if she were not pregnant. She knows, although
she does not often dwell on the fact, that she is work
ing assiduously for legitimate ends. But as she is, in
truth, mainly engrossed in getting and saving, thus
using a very limited part of her mind, she does the
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
75
- harm. The selfish, grasping spirit increases on itself
through generations of similar experience. On the
same principle, the remarlwble singer is the product of
two or three generations of love of song.
A childish inclination to appropriate that which be
longs to another, yields readily to wise treatment, where
the intellect, the nature, is not cramped and dull.
SPECULATIVE INTELLECT.
.
The habit of reasoning independently, of investiga
ting without reference to authority, is by no means a
common one. Most people have their thinking done
for them, and are content to quote their clergyman,
their doctor, or their great-grandmother, as the case
may require. We say a man or woman is “ original ”
when they seek Truth wherever she may be found, re
gardless of popular opinion.
My friend, though quite practical, loved dearly to
wander in the higher regions of thought. Such an one
is apt to suffer for the want of sympathy, and situated
as she was in an obscure inland town, where living lit
erature was unappreciated and congenial companion
ship did not exist, her first year of married life was not
all that she had anticipated. Her husband was “ all
business,” but he wanted his wife to be happy, and he
induced her to send for an old schoohnate “ for company.”
�76
VARIATION OF CHARACTER
After Miss Wood’s arrival there was no time for
morbid regrets or dissatisfaction. She brought a year’s
later news of the old circle of friends, was full of
piquant personal reminiscence, could discuss the merits
of the latest noteworthy literature, and entered heartily
into the political reform movements of England and
Italy. The days were now only too short for the du
ties and sympathy that had to be crowded into them.
After the birth of Mrs. Roche’s first child her friend
married, and moved on to a farm some miles away.
Mrs. R. had more domestic occupation, but a close
communication was kept up. Then the anti-slavery
agitation was beginning to be felt all over the country,
and Mr. R., to his wife’s great delight, flung himself
with all his compact executive energy into it. During
this period another child, a girl, was born. Suddenly
and unexpectedly business losses occurred, which obliged
a removal to a new place.
“ It so happened,” said Mrs. R., referring long years
later to the marked difference in her children, “ that
the months before Cecil’s birth, I met with no book or
person that appealed to me, and I was always so help
lessly dependent on outside influences when I was en
ciente. The dear boy, in his early youth, gave evidence
of the absence of the speculative intellect. He hates
discussion and theories of every sort. Philosophy is
his abomination. The day is good enough for him
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
77
without analysis. He likes a fine poem, and adores
Ruskin, and his order and system make him invaluable
to his father. But in comprehensiveness, in capacity
for ideas, he ranks far below his brother and his sister.”
INTEMPERANCE.
In the preceding pages I have endeavored to show
what manner of living favors the transmission of noble
and beautiful qualities from mother to child; what
conditions tend to produce unbalanced, vicious, un
lovely character. I have dwelt principally on the
moral aspects of maternity, because that is the side
hitherto overlooked. But I can not close without say
ing a word respecting the baleful influence of intoxi
cating drinks.
Nothing is more certain than that the desire for alco
holic drinks is inherited, and all degrees of mental dull
ness and incapacity, from one grade below the parental
endowment, to idiocy, may be distinctly referred to
habits of intoxication.
We have seen that the abnormal sensibility of a
pregnant woman insures large effects (on the child)
from small causes. Thus a joy is absorbed by the
young life that the mother outgrows; and depression
that was but temporary with her, leaves its mark on
the temperament and disposition of her offspring.
Thus the habit of taking just a drop to sustain your
�78
VARIATION- OF CHARACTER
fainting spirits during the day, and a glass of something
hot at night, added, most likely, to the father’s moder
ate drinking, gives the child an uncontrollable passion
for stimulants. Now, the life you live may be all that
is desirable, but if your brain is put under this influence
occasionally, all the good is weakened, vitiated, under
mined. Alcohol breaks down the will, and what is a
human being without a will ? A vacillating, unreliable
creature. It deadens the mental sensibilities and arouses
the passions.
Friends will often advise a pregnant woman to drink
beer or spirits, assuming that nature at such times re
quires it. Now, nature is equal to her own emergen
cies, and pregnancy is not a disease. The brooding
mother needs plenty of sunlight and fresh air, abun
dant sleep, moderate exercise, wholesome food, and
congenial surroundings. Let her Usten to no one who
prescribes a stimulant which holds disease in itself.
There is such a thing as intemperance in eating, and
I would counsel any woman to demand of herself a
perfect self-control at the table. Nothing less than
this, with entire abstinence on her part, will suffice to
neutralize in most cases the’ desire for liquor, communi
cated, in so many cases, by the father; and the firm
ness exercised by her in denying the appetite, will give
her child the firmness to resist the temptation to drink.
Without this will in the matter, the inclination would
�THROUGH THE MOTHER.
79
be communicated and not the power to resist, as, for
instance, if she merely abstained because she could not
obtain what she longed for.
The Germans sodden their brains with lager-beer;
the English brutify themselves on gin and porter. We
ruin soul, body, and worldly prospects on adulterated
whisky.
Our husbands and fathers license thousands of groggeries, corner groceries, saloons, that they may be free
to indulge out of sight of home. In this way they pre
pare places wherein their sons may be initiated into
vice. Thus the crop of drunkards never fails in village,
town, or city, nor the supply of criminals, large and
small, made criminals by these means provided.
The “ deficient ” child and the predestined drunkard,
are cradled as softly as are the children of temperance.
The mother handing her babe round for the admiration
of her neighbors, is shaken by no prevision of what it
will one day become. Her fair, rosy-cheeked boy des
tined to be the inmate of an inebriate asylum ? She
will not believe it. Yet only obedience to the higher
law on her part will have saved him from it.
CONCLUSION.
It has been clearly demonstrated in these modern
days that nothing is to be had without paying the full
price. The more valuable the thing desired, the great-
�80
VARIATION OF CHARACTER THROUGH THE MOTHER.
the price to be paid. Thus the satisfactions and joys
of parentage can only be had by the study of, and obe
dience to, natural and spiritual law, at the cost of much
effort, self-denial, and self-control. (Self-indulgence
and indifference do not produce fine offspring).
It has also been proved, to the simplest observation,
that woman has the large balance of power in the
formation of character, and it is for her to assume the
responsibility. Genius is dependent on a combination
of influences outside our control, but good sense, integ
rity, generosity, and chastity take their growth from
thoughts, emotions, and acts, over which we have con
trol to a very great extent. Let women take courage.
The larger their responsibility, the nobler their reward.
er
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Victorian Blogging
Description
An account of the resource
A collection of digitised nineteenth-century pamphlets from Conway Hall Library & Archives. This includes the Conway Tracts, Moncure Conway's personal pamphlet library; the Morris Tracts, donated to the library by Miss Morris in 1904; the National Secular Society's pamphlet library and others. The Conway Tracts were bound with additional ephemera, such as lecture programmes and handwritten notes.<br /><br />Please note that these digitised pamphlets have been edited to maximise the accuracy of the OCR, ensuring they are text searchable. If you would like to view un-edited, full-colour versions of any of our pamphlets, please email librarian@conwayhall.org.uk.<br /><br /><span><img src="http://www.heritagefund.org.uk/sites/default/files/media/attachments/TNLHLF_Colour_Logo_English_RGB_0_0.jpg" width="238" height="91" alt="TNLHLF_Colour_Logo_English_RGB_0_0.jpg" /></span>
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Conway Hall Library & Archives
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
2018
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Conway Hall Ethical Society
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Original Format
The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data
Pamphlet
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Transmission; or, variation of character through the mother
Description
An account of the resource
Edition: New ed., rev. & enl.
Place of Publication: New York
Collation: 80 p. ; 18 cm.
Notes: From the library of Dr Moncure Conway. Georgiana Bruce Kirby was an early suffragist, educator and a California pioneer.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Kirby, Georgiana B.
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
S.R. Wells & Company
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
1879
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
CT91
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
<a href="http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/"><img src="http://i.creativecommons.org/p/mark/1.0/88x31.png" alt="Public Domain Mark" /></a><span> </span><br /><span>This work (Transmission, or variation of character through the mother), identified by </span><a href="https://conwayhallcollections.omeka.net/items/show/www.conwayhall.org.uk"><span>Humanist Library and Archives</span></a><span>, is free of known copyright restrictions.</span>
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
application/pdf
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Text
Language
A language of the resource
English
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women
Child rearing
Conway Tracts
Heredity
Women