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THE INFLUENCE OF HOME.
_A_ SZEZEdZMZOIbT,
PREACHED AT
ST. GEORGE’S HALL, LANGHAM
PLACE, SEPTEMBER 13, 1874, BY THE
BEV.
CHARLES
VOYSEY.
The text was taken from 2 Corinthians xiii, 11, “ Be perfect
be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace, and the God
of love and peace shall be with you.”
He said—We are all familiar with the idea of the sacredness of
sorrow ; from our youth up, preachers and moralists have instilled
into us that chastisement is good for us, and that afflictions are
but blessings in disguise ; as we grew older we learnt this holy
lesson for ourselves, though, perhaps, by slow degrees and with
much rebellion and unbelief. Far be it from me to throw this
teaching into the shade, or to underrate the magnificence of this
triumph of the human heart over its troubles. Yet I think we
have, in our eagerness to give or to gain consolation, suffered
another equally valuable lesson to drop out of our recognition.
W& have not made enough of the sacredness of joy. We have
not recovered from the depressing influences of the Puritanism of
our forefathers, and, in all matters pertaining to religion and
morals, the severity of discipline by sorrow has not only had its
due prominence, but has been allowed to monopolize our regard
and to appear as the sole agency in the culture of our characters.
Man, in his usual extravagance, has cherished a tacit belief that
because sorrow is a necessary blessing therefore joy is either
unnecessary or unwholesome. Or, perhaps, it is because the
pursuit of happiness is never likely to flag, whereas we are ever by
nature striving to avoid pain, that happiness has needed no recom--
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mendation, is considered to be amply provided for, and, if only
tolerated by preachers, the less said about it the better. I think
the sacredness of joy has been overlooked, and by the term
“ sscredness,” as applied to joy, I mean exactly the same as when
it is applied to sorrow. Just as sorrow is found to be beneficial
to the soul, in purifying, elevating and expanding its noblest
powers, so joy has a like beneficial effect, and is capable of doing
wonders in the improvement of character. True joy is therefore
as solemn and sacred as Heaven-sent affliction. Both are needful,
as the day for labour and the night for rest. Both are indispens
able to the proper development of human nature, and both should
be recognized by moralists and religious teachers as equally
important, equally sacred.
I wish this morning, after my long absence from you, to
say a little of what is in my heart about the joys of home.
Nearly all of us have a home, and most of us, it is to be
hoped, can call theirs a happy one; but I wonder how many
of us have ever thought seriously about our home as the real
school-house of our characters, and as the mould in which our lives
are cast ? How many of us are there who pay more heed to the
fact of enjoying a happy home than to the fact of the daily rising
sun? To very many, and especially to the young, the one is just
as much a matter of course as the other. Years and years roll by,
and they do not fully realize the priceless blessings of home until
they have lost it. In the turn of events they are forced to go
forth into the world and dwell among strangers, and to make a
new home for themselves ; and then all at once they wake up to
know how much they had so long unconciously enjoyed, and what
they have now lost—perhaps for ever. And so it is with many of
us elder ones ; we live on in the same smooth tenour of oui* way
enjoying daily without reflection a thousand tender offerings of
affection, till we get so accustomed to the things which make up our
life’s happiness as to take them for granted, and forget altogether
with how much toil and sacrifice they have been supplied. But all
at once some stroke of misfortune descends, some sore bereavement
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or calamity worse than death stirs us from our easy and blind satis
faction, and makes us realize what our home has really been to us,
and what holy and faithful services had made it so happy.
Misfortune without, or the attack of unfriendly criticism, will
often have the same effect. The blow which hurts one member
shakes with electric shock all the rest, and so reveals the sacred
and delicate bond which binds the family in one. The sympathy
and help which are thus simultaneously awakened bring home to
every heart the reality of that domestic love which all along had
been giving them so much unconscious joy.
And so too, but in a less degree perhaps, is domestic love
revealed by temporary separation. Members of one family do not
know how much they love one another until they have been
divided. Then one by one the little endearments are missed, the
old loving looks of affection and sympathy are thirsted for, and the
severed ones become conscious how much of the pleasure of their
lives was due to each others’ daily intercourse. Change of scene
however interesting, change of occupation however pleasant,
hospitality and kindness of friends however generous—all these
fail to supply the joys that we left behind, or to fill the void in our
breasts which is akin to pain. No personal comforts, not the best
and most devoted of friends can take the place of the dear ones
who are absent. Their memory is sweet to us; our rising thought
in early dawn is of them and their welfare ; our last prayer before
our eyes are closed is that they may be safe and happy. In the
midst of our most refreshing recreations we wish they were with
us to share them ; and if the slightest shadow of ill tidings reach
us, we long to be back again to comfort and protect them. We
learn in separation the intensity of our love, and begin to see how
much more we owe to each other than we had ever dreamed. Ard
so the return home is a sensation of exceeding joy. We wait for
it as shipwrecked men wait for the dawn; we count the days and
hours which must intervene, as poor school-boys do when the
holidays draw near. We picture the scene in our vivid imaginetions, calling up the vision of each smiling face as it greets us
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on the threshold, and wondering with a trembling heart what
good or bad reports we may have to hear.
Coming home is a most solemn joy. It is a holy sacrament to
all who have a home—and not a mere dwelling-place—to come to.
In all our experience there is nothing so religious, so exquisite;
nothing which brings God so near to us, nothing which so completely
wipes out dark memories, fills the soul with holy resolutions, or
gives such foretaste of the peace and rest of Heaven.
We know and feel at such moments, though we cannot put it
into words, that God Hiipself could not give us greater joy on
earth than this, that our cup of happiness is full and running over,
and that our hearts are bursting with grateful delight. We feel
that God Himself is with us rejoicing in our joy, and delighting
in giving such bliss to his children. Such mercies knit our hearts
to Him, and help us to love His blessed will, and be ready to give
up all we love best at His bidding.
And if religious emotion in its highest degree involve the
penitent recollection of past misdeeds, and the pious resolve to
amend our lives, what more fitting and natural opportunity for
such feelings than this can there be ?
Across the mind there sweeps a sorrowful thought of shame, and
almost wonder, that any unjust or unkind word should ever have
been spoken amongst us, much more any unkind deed done; and
this spasm of godly sorrow is instantly followed by a flood of holy
impulse to rule our lives by love, never to wrong each other by
word or deed, but to help, comfort, and defend one another while
life shall last. And this high resolve, not made on bended knee,
or with tearful eye, but springing out of a joy too great for words,
is propped up on all sides by hope—by hope which tells that there
is an inexhaustible fountain of mutual love from which to draw,
the depth of which we had not fathomed. We can thus promise
to be good to each othei, for love will make it easy. And this is
one of the most prominent and most natural results of true joy.
It gives a sense of perfect peace with God and trust in His blessed
will; it makes the heart shrink from its own iniquity, it fills it
with holy desire to be utterly good, and turns the desire for
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improvement into a promise of success by revealing love as the
basis of hope.
Away then with the foolish and unnecessary creeds ! As if
God had not created the family ties, and consecrated domestic
duties and troubles and joys on purpose to teach us all the religion
and morality that we ever wanted I What do we want with altars
for offerings and burnt sacrifices, for incense and wafers, when in
every temple of home there is a fireside—a sacred hearth—where
daily and hourly offerings of love and duty may be laid. What
need have we for religious rites and ceremonies to please God or
benefit our souls, when home-life abounds with opportunities for
the holiest services, and the sacraments of love may be partaken
of every day.
I do not wish to be hard upon the Christian Sacraments or any
other ceremony that may help feeble souls. But I do wonder that
men should have gone out of their way to seek for God, should
have hunted in the burning sands of the parched wilderness for
the living streams of His bounty, should have invented elaborate
devices for il pleasing Him ” when all He asks of us is to love one
another; or should have wasted their wits and their toil to culti
vate piety and holiness, when the Divine method of becoming
pious and holy lies straight before them, and has been mercifully
appointed as the common lot of mankind.
To return to the more special subject of my discourse, if such
joy is holy and elevating, it follows that the happier we can make
our own homes the better shall we be.
And by happiness, of course I do not mean the mere piling up
of earthly comforts or luxuries, the acquisition of wealth or the
realization of ambitious hopes ; but such peace of mind and pleasure
in life as grows out of being loved and loving in return. In this
sense, I believe many faults would be cured and we ourselves
made infinitely more useful to the world outside, if we were to
make each other happier at home, if there were more love and
more determination not to wound or vex anyone around us. The
effect of dwelling in an atmosphere uncongenial, where sympathy
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is absent oi' scanty; where criticism is plentiful and sharp; where
fault-findings outnumber the encouragements; where one
error will obliterate many right actions; where cold hard duty,
precious as that is, is made a substitute for affectionate interest;
and where correctness is worshipped at the expense of generosity—
the effect of dwelling in such an atmosphere, I say, is to wither
the heart and to harden the manners, to lose a friend if not to
make a foe. No husband or wife, parent or child, brother or sister,
master, mistress or servant can hold ground in nobleness of
character unless fostered by the warm sunshine of a loving inter
course. To make the best of anyone, we must begin with extreme
kindness, and if possible, by loving him. If we do not, we shall never
see any but the worst side of his nature, unless it be too noble to
be concealed or disguised. Begin by detraction and discourage
ment, and the sorrow of the heart so oppressed will probably
make it unworthy and drive it to baseness. Well may we say to
each other what the Psalmist said to God. “ If thou wilt be
extreme to mark what is done amiss, O Lord who can abide it ?”
Yet, if we only make clear our loving purpose to make each other
as happy as we can, oh ! how bearable then are each other’s failings
and defects, how easily we can put up with weak tempers and
hasty words, as well as broken promises and neglected duties ! We
all have to fall back now and then on the loyalty of affection
which is at the bottom of each other’s hearts; and if that be
wanting, the superstructure of smiles and pleasant faces and pretty
speeches are only a frightful mockery, making the void within more
hollow and the soul’s insight more ghastly. Let people differ and
wrangle sometimes, it is comparatively a trifle, if only they love
one another at heart. If they do not and they are compelled to
live together, God have mercy on them ! They need the pity of
Heaven !
But have we no other words for those who have no home—or
whose home is poisoned by the serpent of strife—no words but of
pity and sorrow. Yes, I think Love has words of hope for all—
even for the most hopeless.
What are called incompatibility of temper, sourness of disposi
tion, provoking habits and all the terrible list of reasons why
people separate and why homes are either ruined or broken up, are
not all incapable of cure. They who say there is no cure are those
who have not had the patience to try, nor have the fortitude to
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take up a course of conduct for which instead of thanks they
expect only fresh insult.
Where real love is not forthcoming, there still remains the
moral power of self-control and the determination at least to behave
well to each other. Let all persons who are in the unhappy
position of living in a home without mutual love try the experi
ment of doing the best they can for each other, of striving to avoid
giving offence, of schooling themselves into actions and words of
kindness. If no other happy result should follow, at least this
course is sure to preserve domestic peace; and in nine cases out of
ten it will do ever so much more. By slow degrees unwearied
kindness and patience and forgiveness beget gratitude and go far
to create an affection that is absent, or to restore one that is lost.
Love is the offspring of pure kindness, quits as often as kindness
is the offspring of Love. And so I would urge upon the unhappy
that it is never too late to mend, never too late to ameliorate their
own condition, if only they will go the right way to work and seek
the happiness of those around them first.
For in this also the principle holds good that joy is purifying
and elevating. Make any man or woman less miserable, add ever
so little to his or her happiness and the fruit of a better life will
soon shew itself.
And lastly I would say a few words to those who by inevitable
circumstance are banished from home and have to dwell alone or
among strangers. God only knows what some very tender and
warm hearts suffer in the freezing atmosphere of unfamiliar faces
and ungenial associates. But even for them there is left one
blessing—and that God’s best blessing—the power of winning love
and making a home for themselves out of the foreign elements
around them.
As every home is only Home when love reigns in it, so the
veriest desert may become a garden if we do our part in the
culture of the affections. Let anyone, however in other respects
deficient in winning others, if only rich in kindness and manifest
self-devotion, do his or her best for the comfort and peace of those
who come in daily contact, and the strange faces will grow
familiar and pleasant, hearts that seemed shut up to themselves
and to only a few favoured ones will expand first with gratitude,
then with esteem, and lastly with real friendship and love.
�8
Governesses and tutors and servants, even boarders and lodgers
can furnish a whole literature of this divine conquest of the human
heart over the seemingly stony natures with which it is forced to
dwell. Commanders of vessels, leaders of regiments, superintend
ing engineers, a hundred times over have told the tale of their
making a happy home for themselves out of the wealth of love and
human feeling which they carried in their own breasts. If the
ties have not been so tender, so spontaneous, so deep, as those
wherewith God has blessed us in our natural domestic relations,
still they have been strong and warm and have shewn their
heavenly virtue in mutual self-sacrifice and in splendid heroism.
And surely no public work, no reformation, no patriotism can
be compared for a moment with the glory of that triumph over
the hearts of men.
More and more do I feel the solemn importance of being first in
our own homes what we desire to be before the world. Nothing
to me is more certain than that the ultimate test by which we and
our work will be judged is the manner in which we live at home.
If that will bear the scrutiny of the best and wisest and kindest
among men, we need fear no failure in our philanthropic efforts in
the world around us. But if our homes are darkened by strife or
poisoned by impurity, the best among men will turn their backs
upon our principles however sound, will revolt from our teaching
however reasonable, and will point scornfully at our huge incon
sistency, crying, “ By their fruits ye shall know them.”
Let us prize as our most precious gift—even above all faith and
hope—the joy of a happy home. Let that be our sheet-anchor;
let that be the shrine to defend which we will pour out our life’s
blood to the last drop. Let us banish for ever the idea that it is
other people’s business to make us happy ; and instead of that, let
us each one say to himself “ my one duty is, and it shall be my
chief concern, to make everyone around me as happy as I can.
If we but live in this spirit, we shall have lived for the greatest
human glory, and we may add too, for the honour and glory of God;
and our rewai’d will be—what no wealth or luxuries can furnish
the confidence and love of all around us. God Himself can give
no more I
Garter & Williams, General Steam Printers, 14, Bishopsgate Avenue, Camomile-street, E.C
�
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Victorian Blogging
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A collection of digitised nineteenth-century pamphlets from Conway Hall Library & Archives. This includes the Conway Tracts, Moncure Conway's personal pamphlet library; the Morris Tracts, donated to the library by Miss Morris in 1904; the National Secular Society's pamphlet library and others. The Conway Tracts were bound with additional ephemera, such as lecture programmes and handwritten notes.<br /><br />Please note that these digitised pamphlets have been edited to maximise the accuracy of the OCR, ensuring they are text searchable. If you would like to view un-edited, full-colour versions of any of our pamphlets, please email librarian@conwayhall.org.uk.<br /><br /><span><img src="http://www.heritagefund.org.uk/sites/default/files/media/attachments/TNLHLF_Colour_Logo_English_RGB_0_0.jpg" width="238" height="91" alt="TNLHLF_Colour_Logo_English_RGB_0_0.jpg" /></span>
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Conway Hall Library & Archives
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Conway Hall Ethical Society
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The influence of home: a sermon, preached at St. George's Hall, Langham Place, September 13, 1874
Creator
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Voysey, Charles [1828-1912.]
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Place of publication: London
Collation: 8 p. ; 19 cm.
Notes: Part of Morris Miscellaneous Tracts 6.
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[Carter & Williams]
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1874
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G4830
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<a href="http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/"><img src="http://i.creativecommons.org/p/mark/1.0/88x31.png" alt="Public Domain Mark" /></a><span> </span><br /><span>This work (The influence of home: a sermon, preached at St. George's Hall, Langham Place, September 13, 1874), identified by </span><a href="https://conwayhallcollections.omeka.net/items/show/www.conwayhall.org.uk"><span>Humanist Library and Archives</span></a><span>, is free of known copyright restrictions.</span>
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Text
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English
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Religion
Sermons
Home
Morris Tracts
Religion
Sermons